Social Coaching
Social coaching involves teaching and practicing interpersonal skills, helping teens navigate relationships, understand social dynamics, and build meaningful connections with peers.
Why social coaching works
Social coaching provides explicit instruction in skills that neurotypical peers may absorb implicitly, leveling the playing field for all teens.
Research by Laugeson and colleagues shows that structured social skills training significantly improves friendship quality, social engagement, and reduced loneliness in adolescents.
You're not alone
If your teen spends lunch alone despite wanting friends, or if their attempts at friendship seem to backfire, they're not alone. Research shows 70 percent of teens report feeling lonely regularly, and many lack basic social skills due to reduced face-to-face interaction. Social coaching isn't about fixing broken kids but teaching skills that used to develop naturally through more frequent in-person play and interaction.
What it looks like day to day
Student
Your teen learns specific phrases for joining conversations and practices them before social events.
Parent
You role-play difficult social scenarios with your teen, helping them prepare responses for peer pressure or conflict.
Tiny steps to try
- 1
Conversation starters menu
Create a list of go-to topics and questions. Having options reduces social anxiety.
- 2
Social autopsy
After social interactions, gently review what worked and what didn't without judgment or criticism.
- 3
Parallel practice
Watch shows together and discuss characters' social choices. It's safer than analyzing their own mistakes.
- 4
One-on-one first
Encourage single-friend activities before group events. It's easier to practice skills with one person.
- 5
Interest-based connections
Help find clubs or activities around their interests where social connection happens naturally through shared activities.
Why teens need social coaching
Modern teens face unique social challenges that previous generations didn't navigate, from digital communication to post-pandemic social anxiety.
Areas where social coaching helps:
• Starting and maintaining conversations
• Reading nonverbal communication
• Managing conflict constructively
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Navigating group dynamics
• Building authentic friendships
Without guidance, teens may struggle socially despite desperately wanting connection.
References
Laugeson, E. A., Frankel, F., Gantman, A., Dillon, A. R., & Mogil, C. (2012). Evidence-based social skills training for adolescents with autism spectrum disorders: The UCLA PEERS program. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 42(6), 1025-1036.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Won't social coaching make my teen seem rehearsed or fake?
Good social coaching teaches principles, not scripts. It's about understanding social dynamics and developing authentic responses. Like learning to drive, initial practice may feel mechanical, but skills become natural with repetition. The goal is confident authenticity, not performance. Most socially successful people learned these skills; some just learned them earlier.
My teen resists social coaching. How do I help?
Make it collaborative, not corrective. Ask what social situations they find challenging and problem-solve together. Share your own social struggles and solutions. Keep coaching casual and embedded in daily life rather than formal lessons. Focus on their goals: if they want more friends, frame coaching as achieving their objective, not fixing their deficits.
Related Terms
Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage emotions effectively in yourself and relationships, predicting success in life as much as traditional intelligence.
Social Skills
Social skills are the abilities needed to communicate, interact, and build relationships with others effectively, including reading social cues, showing empathy, and following social norms.
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