Non-Verbal Communication
Non-verbal communication includes body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other unspoken signals that convey the majority of emotional meaning in human interactions.
Why explicit teaching helps
Many teens, especially neurodivergent ones, don't naturally absorb non-verbal rules through observation. Direct instruction demystifies social interaction.
Research shows that explicit non-verbal communication training improves social outcomes for all teens, particularly those with autism or social anxiety. These skills are learnable through practice and feedback.
You're not alone
If your teen takes everything literally, misses social cues, or sends unintended messages through their body language, they're struggling with non-verbal communication like many peers. This is especially common in teens with autism or ADHD, but even neurotypical teens miss cues during adolescent social development. These skills can be explicitly taught and practiced.
What it looks like day to day
Student
Your teen doesn't notice when classmates' crossed arms and turned bodies signal they want to end a conversation, continuing to talk while others feel trapped.
Parent
You say "fine" with clear irritation, but your teen only hears the word and misses your tone, leading to confusion when you're obviously upset.
Tiny steps to try
- 1
TV practice
Watch shows with sound off, predicting emotions from body language. Then watch with sound to check accuracy.
- 2
Mirror work
Practice facial expressions together in a mirror. Connect feelings to facial configurations explicitly.
- 3
Tone detective
Play "guess the emotion" using the same sentence with different tones. "Oh, great" can mean ten different things.
- 4
Body language check-ins
Periodically ask "What is my body saying right now?" Build awareness of non-verbal signals.
- 5
Video review
Record your teen in conversation (with permission), then review together noticing non-verbal patterns.
Why non-verbal skills matter
Words carry only 7 percent of emotional meaning. The rest comes from tone (38 percent) and body language (55 percent). Teens who miss these cues struggle socially.
Key non-verbal channels:
• Facial expressions showing emotions
• Body posture indicating openness or defensiveness
• Eye contact signaling attention or avoidance
• Voice tone conveying sarcasm or sincerity
• Personal space preferences
• Hand gestures emphasizing points
Misreading or ignoring these signals creates social confusion and relationship difficulties.
References
Mehrabian, A. (1971). Silent messages: Implicit communication of emotions and attitudes. Wadsworth.
Ready to help your teen thrive?
Get personalized 1-on-1 coaching to build better habits and boost grades. Join 10,000+ families who trust Coachbit.
Frequently Asked Questions
My teen seems rude but doesn't mean to be. Help?
Unintentional rudeness often stems from non-verbal mismatches. Flat affect reads as bored, limited eye contact seems dishonest, monotone voice sounds sarcastic. Teach your teen how others might interpret their non-verbal signals. Practice "friendly" body language even when it feels unnatural. Explain their communication style to others when appropriate.
Should I force eye contact?
No. Forced eye contact can be painful for some neurodivergent individuals and decreases their ability to process conversation. Teach alternatives like looking at foreheads, noses, or shoulders. Explain that some people need to look away to think. Focus on engagement through other channels like verbal responses and body orientation.
Related Terms
Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage emotions effectively in yourself and relationships, predicting success in life as much as traditional intelligence.
Social Skills
Social skills are the abilities needed to communicate, interact, and build relationships with others effectively, including reading social cues, showing empathy, and following social norms.
Related Articles
Science Explains Why Your Teen Won’t Listen to You: 4 Ways to Respond
Science shows that at 13, teens no longer listen to their parents and prioritize outside voices. A life coach or mentor is a great external source of support.
Read article
A 5-Step Guide to Emotional Agility for Kids
Emotional Agility allows us to navigate positive and negative emotions. Kids can be taught emotional intelligence through learning to feel and label emotions.
Read article
